Ep. 5: Put the Seat Down!
Dunking Donuts and Toilet Seat Diplomacy
Let’s talk about “dunking your donut.” It’s not as sweet as it sounds. In Hunter’s world, “butt meat” is the donut and the toilet bowl is the coffee. The metaphor goes off the rails quickly—but that’s kind of the point.
After an unexpected toilet seat separation (thanks to years of uncleaned pee corrosion), Hunter had a eureka moment. He looked at the humble toilet seat hinge and thought: What’s the deal with this thing? Who invented it? And why are we still fighting over who has to put it down?
A Brief History of Toilet Seats
Toilet seats as we know them weren’t common in homes until the 1930s. Before then, folks were squatting over holes, cutting chair-shaped targets into wood, or just hoping for the best in the woods. If you’ve ever camped, you know the thrill of perching your hams over a makeshift privy seat, vulnerable to cold air, bugs, or worse.
Enter McDonald Herbert Cumming—a Scotsman who moved to the U.S. and patented the first hinged toilet seat in the 1930s. His design was sleek, thin, and even nested into the lid—a real marvel. Sadly, Cumming is less remembered than the thing we all sit on daily. Such is the fate of great inventors in the potty arts.
The Great Toilet Seat Debate: Up or Down?
Now, back to modern seat politics. The eternal debate: Whose job is it to put the seat down?
Standers argue: “You sit, you adjust.”
Sitters argue: “You stood, you messed with it, you fix it.”
Hunter's stance? Let’s find ground zero—the seat’s natural resting position. When you buy a new toilet seat, it comes in the box down. Seat down is factory default. Case closed.
Functional + Social Logic
If you stand to pee, that’s a choice. You could sit. You have options.
If you must sit to pee, you don’t have a choice. You need the seat down.
Therefore, the person with more flexibility should make the adjustment.
Hunter calls for fairness: If you lift the seat to use it, you should put it back down when you’re done. The same way you’d return the lid on a jar or reset the toaster dial. It’s basic respect.
And please—if you dribble or miss the mark, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
Don’t Be a Clown—Put the Seat Down
Falling into a cold toilet bowl because someone left the seat up is a uniquely shocking betrayal. Especially for kids or people not expecting it. No one wants to do a squat workout mid-pee or dunk their donut in freezing toilet water.
And if you think leaving the seat up makes you rebellious or efficient, Hunter offers this: You're just being inconsiderate.
So here's the official Privy stance:
Seat down is the natural, neutral position.
Everyone deserves a dry donut.
When you're done, everything goes down—the poop, the pee, the flush, and yes, the seat.
Down is good. Don’t be a clown. Put the seat down.
