Ep. 42: Brown Friday: A Celebration of Plumbers
Is My Thanksgiving Dinner Plotting Against Me?
Alright, folks—here I am, wondering if the bathroom consequences of my choices are about to come knocking. Plate two and a full pie medley on the horizon—how’s the plumbing gonna handle this? Spoiler: probably not great.
Happy Thanksgiving from Privy
Welcome back to Privy, the podcast about bathrooms, recorded (usually) from my home bathroom. This episode? Pre-recorded because right now, I’m out in the wild using other restrooms and living that portable toilet life. But hey, turkey season waits for no one.
Thanksgiving’s a time for gratitude—and for gobblers, of course. Hopefully, you had a feast full of tasty bird and good vibes. I know the holidays can be stressful for some, but here’s my advice: make your traditions yours. Enjoy the bird. Be thankful. It really does help.
Thanksgiving Food Rules… or Not
Let’s talk food, because there are two Thanksgiving food myths that need busting:
Only certain foods belong on Thanksgiving.
Some foods just don’t belong anywhere near Thanksgiving.
First off, I say: turkey owns this holiday. Ham? Nah, that’s Christmas and Easter turf. Thanksgiving is turkey season, folks. Let ham do its own thing.
And potatoes? If they’re not mashed, you’re missing out. Sure, scalloped, baked, fried—potatoes come in many glorious forms (yes, that’s all I know). But mashed potatoes are the must-have of Thanksgiving. Bonus points if you grew up making potato pancakes or Lefse like me—those buttery, rolled-up potato cakes are pure magic.
Green bean casserole? I’m calling it: plain green beans win every time. Same with corn on the cob or just plain corn—creamed corn? That should probably be illegal.
Stuffing? Well, real stuffing is cooked inside the turkey—the “gobbler crevice” (official new term). If it’s cooked separately, it’s called dressing. StoveTop seasoning deserves a shoutout too; sometimes convenience wins.
Sweet potato dishes with marshmallows? Dessert, not a side. Marshmallows on anything savory? No thank you.
Gravy? Flavored thickened meat juice. Love it? Awesome. Hate it? You’re not alone. Best on biscuits, in my opinion.
Cranberry sauce? Pro tip: put it on the turkey. Yes, the actual bird. Weird? Maybe. Tasty? Worth a try.
Berry pies? Out of place. That’s summer territory. Thanksgiving pies are pumpkin, pecan (yes, pecan), and apple. Mac and cheese? A must-have for the picky kids (or picky adults). Trust me.
Thanksgiving: A Time to Be Thankful… For Plumbers
Now, here’s a little Thanksgiving fact: the day after Thanksgiving is known as Brown Friday in plumbing circles. Why? Because plumbers get slammed dealing with the aftermath of all that turkey and pie.
“Brown Friday” is one of the busiest days for plumbers—so shoutout to those heroes who keep our toilets running when we’ve hit our limit.
Fun fact: the word plumber comes from the Roman Empire. “Plumbum” is Latin for lead—the Romans used lead pipes for their baths and drainage. So plumbers originally were the lead workers.
Nowadays, plumbers do way more than work with lead—they tackle clogs, leaks, and a whole lot of other gross stuff (like crypto—yep, the parasite, not the currency).
Plumbers face risks like electric shock, burns, contamination, and working in tight, unpleasant spaces. So next time you flush, be thankful for those brave folks.
Famous Plumbers You Might Know
Mario & Luigi (the most famous fictional plumbers—though, honestly, do they actually plumb much?)
Thomas Crapper (the guy some say gave us the word “crapper”)
Joe the Plumber (political figure-turned-activist)
Ozzy Osbourne (yes, before rock stardom, he was a plumber… briefly)
Got a favorite famous plumber I missed? Hit me up!
Hunter’s Anecdotes to Keep You Afloats: The Night of Liquid Bowel
Thanksgiving memories time. One year, I was at my in-laws’, went to bed early, and then BAM—woke up for what I call the Night of Liquid Bowel. The bathroom became my new best friend for 4–5 hours straight. Picture: me, on the throne, multiple trips, fluids flowing like a faucet.
I got so dehydrated I was sprinting to the kitchen for water between visits. By the end, it was basically just water passing through me (not pee, definitely not pee). Next day? Back to full Thanksgiving meal like a champ. No mac and cheese that year though—some traditions even I can’t handle.
