Ep. 36: The Toiletnator
Flush with Power: The Rise of the Toiletnator and Our Need for a Bathroom Superhero
There are moments in life that leave you speechless: a meteor streaking across the sky, finding an old Twix in your glove compartment that’s still edible, or realizing you just survived a two-burrito cheeseburger combo without declaring bathroom bankruptcy. But then there are moments that demand we speak out. This is one of those.
Because friends, it’s National Comic Book Day—and if anyone deserves their own cape and comic series, it's the unsung, porcelain-powered villain: the Toiletnator.
A Hero (or Villain?) Flush with Potential
Let’s start where all great comic journeys do: with an unhinged backstory and a questionable power set.
The Toiletnator, or as his mama called him, Lou Pottingsworth, was once a low-level corporate goon at Evil Adult Industries Incorporated. His origin story begins with a kids’ rebellion, a construction site, and the single worst porta-potty fate you can imagine. Buried alive in a tipped-over blue booth, Lou survived only by dining on urinal cakes—which, as we’ve covered on Privy, should never be confused with actual cake. Or even food.
Then came the divine bathroom intervention.
A toilet deity (yes, that’s canon) appeared and granted him powers: control over toilets and the ability to shoot toilet paper from his arms. Basically, he became a bathroom-themed Spider-Man with absolutely no chill and zero respect from his peers.
And let’s be honest, when the other villains in your evil corporation refer to you as “that guy” and actively try to keep you out of missions, you know your villain cred is circling the bowl.
Who Ordered the Bathroom Banter?
Now before you start flushing this whole thing down the mental drain, ask yourself: Why aren’t there more toilet-themed heroes and villains?
We've got guys who can swing from buildings with spiderwebs, mutants who shoot lasers from their eyeballs, and talking trees who’ve built cinematic empires out of three words. But bathroom-related superpowers? We're still stuck with the Toiletnator—the Jar Jar Binks of the KND universe.
We can do better.
Just imagine:
Captain Crapper – Defender of the Drain.
The Brown Streak – He’s fast. Like dangerously fast. Like “did he just...?” fast.
The Porcelain Punisher – He leaves nothing but clean bowls and shattered egos.
Why haven’t these been pitched yet? Netflix is out here giving shows to talking blobs and brooding witches—surely there’s room for one superhero whose sidekick is a talking bidet named "Spritz."
Why We Tolerate the Toiletnator
Despite his lack of menace, the Toiletnator endures. Why? Because in a world of broccoli villains and “go-to-bed-on-time” monsters, he was relatable. We’ve all waged our own toilet battles. We’ve all stared into the abyss of a questionable gas station stall and wondered, “Am I stronger than this?” That’s the Toiletnator. Ridiculous, pathetic—and deeply, deeply human.
Also, did you know he was voiced by Dee Bradley Baker? You do now. That’s the same guy who voices all five of the Bad Batch, Perry the Platypus, and Daffy Duck in Space Jam. So basically, this bathroom buffoon was performed by a literal legend.
Let’s Make Some Bathroom Superhero Magic
So here's the flush-worthy conclusion: The world needs better bathroom superheroes. And villains, too, if we're honest. Because as absurd as the Toiletnator may be, he’s proof that even the stinkiest corner of pop culture deserves a little attention.
This National Comic Book Day, let’s raise our plungers high and dream big. Want to help the movement? Tag us @privycast and share your own toilet-themed hero using the hashtag #ToiletHero. Bonus points if it involves bidets, beef stew revenge, or poop lasers (we're just saying, Marvel missed out on that one).
And remember: even if your powers are weak and your theme song sounds like a flushing sound looped over techno beats, you’re still doing better than Lou Pottingsworth.
Happy Comic Book Day. And as always...
Don’t forget to flush.
